Monday, May 16, 2011

Reason? Season? or Lifetime?

Something happened to me during the last few weeks that doesn't happen a lot. I have been at a loss for words. To me, words are just about as important as anything. I don't necessarily mean in talking or speaking out loud, we all know that that just comes naturally and I can't turn off the endless spout which is my mouth. However, this loss might better be described as "writer's block." So many things have happened and changed that I just couldn't even gather my thoughts.

Have you ever felt like so much was changing, but in a way everything was staying the same all at once? Maybe I'm making no sense at all, but in all reality, that's the mumbo jumbo that is swirling around in my brain as I type. Good or bad? I'll let you be the judge.

The biggest thing impacting me at the moment is my friends. It's a time of life where things just change so rapidly that getting a grip is next to impossible. Holding on to those closest to you becomes an unspeakable battle where you're afraid to love and quite frankly, afraid to lose at the same time. Let me explain.

A few years ago, I got one of those annoying chain emails. I remember it read something like this:

"Friends come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."

I can't tell you how true that is. As I look back on my life, I have had many incredible friends and they have all come at the right time and for the right reasons. If you're reading this right now, chances are that you and I are (or have been) friends at some point. If I don't know you, I'm sure that you have had similar experiences, but nonetheless, people come, and people go. If there is a chance you fall in one or more of these categories in my life, there are some things you should know:


To be honest, I feel like every single person I meet falls under this category. Each person brings with them a new perspective, trial, challenge, or blessing. To the many of you who have affected my life in such a way that has changed me, I am grateful to you; even including those where the relationship has been less than simple.

I realize that it is "uncool" to quote from musicals, but I stopped caring what was cool years ago... so... sue me for being a sap. One of my favorite songs from WICKED expresses this category perfectly.

"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason,
bringing something we must learn,
and we are led to those who help us most to grow,
if we let them, and we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true.
But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you."


I hate this one. I'd much rather classify everyone into "Reason" because if I put anyone here, I feel like it's too much of an ultimatum. I feel like it completely overlooks the value and integrity of a friendship. That being said, we do drift apart from one another. It happens. I have only actively put a few people into this category in my life and that's probably only when the relationship becomes some sort of threat to either party involved.

"Don't make someone a priority when they only see you as an option." Unfortunately, that's a true statement and as much as I admire so many of these people, we can't risk everything for someone who sees us as nothing.


This one is my weakness, my disadvantage, and oddly enough, it is my strength, my endurance, and my life. When I make a new friend, I automatically put them in this category. That may seem a little naive, but I don't want to spend a life without any of you! I would love nothing more than to have one big eternal fiesta with everyone! And that's why it is so hard for me when I have to let a friend go, even if it's just for a short time. I know that the Lord has His ways of carrying out His plan. I know that each friend I have has been placed in my path as a blessing in my life.

I have heard it said,

"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

To those of you who have taken the time and effort to break down those walls, I am so grateful.
To those of you who have made me feel like I am worth the world, there is no way I can ever repay you.
And to those of you who love me while knowing all of my imperfections and inadequacies, I could not ask for a better friend.


  1. You used two of my favorite quotes - including the one I quoted to you in Kate's car. Haha! I'v moved around a LOT in my life, but I think I've just come to terms with people being in your life for a season... It's hard, but I've realized that losing people (I don't like the word "losing," but I'm not sure how else to articulate myself) is almost as valuable an experience as having them sometimes. It's the whole growth and change this that's AWESOME and somehow sucks at the same time.
    This is well put, so see... serious is good too.

    P.S. Yep. You have another blog stalker. Not sorry.

  2. Perfect for this time. I have to say how much I love all your friends that fall in all these catagories. It's hard, as your mom, to see them come and go. But I am truly grateful to see how you learn from each relationship. I am grateful for the value you place on people and friendships. I consider you one of my very best friends...and I am more than grateful it's for a lifetime. Love you.