Monday, February 14, 2011

Single Awareness Day

Just a quick note... If you start reading this, please finish. Otherwise, you have absolutely no credibility in judging me. Enjoy!

Well, my friends, the dreaded day is here. I was taught by some friends at a young age that Valentine's Day is really a 24 hour period with two possibilities: 1. You either spend the day with your one true love all googly-eyed over how wonderfully perfect you really are, or option 2. - you're just plain alone.



My brother so kindly shared this quote with me today, as if I wasn't already aware that I'd be spending the day alone.  It reads,

"If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day like many people are... just remember that nobody loves you on any other days of the year either."

(Gee... thanks Tan.)

The following is a brief synopsis of a typically tragic evening that takes place 14th of February for a "lonely hopeless romantic:"

While EVERYBODY ELSE and their "significant others" are out enjoying a romantic evening under a perfect mirage of bliss and happiness, you spend it at home. Utterly alone.

While they satisfy themselves with extraordinarily exquisite food, you spend your night gorging your guts with a gallon of your favorite ice cream.  

They gaze, longingly, into each others' eyes, and you're stuck on your couch (still with ice cream) watching a depressing "chick flick" that somehow resembles the way your pathetically awful night SHOULD BE right now.  

They reminisce of their joyful memories and moments they've shared since... well, last week (when they met) and they talk about why they're perfect for each other. You hop onto your computer and compare all of your crushes' names to your own in the magical, mysterious, and all-knowing "" You hope, no, plead that just one of them is at least 80% compatible with you only to find that this totally ridiculous website says that you're not a good match for ANYBODY. It simply must be mistaken. 
While they share a divine dessert, that monstrous spoonful of ice cream majestically makes its way your wide open trap once again.  

And while everyone else in the world, as well as the perfect chick-flick couples on the screen, share a passionate kiss, your heart actually breaks in two.

If this is you, please spare yourself and don't admit it to the rest of us. February 14 is a commercialized holiday where the best thing involved are those divine Reese's Hearts sent from on high. Let's be honest, we already live in a world that is constantly reminding you that you are "alone." We do not need to confuse the fact that there is a difference between single and lonely.
Delta Burke once said, "I don't like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone."

Please do not get me wrong- this is not my own perso
nal bitter anthem of angst, pain, and regret. I love love. (Yes that sentence makes sense.) But I have only had one single "romantically-filled Valentine's Day" in my whole life so far. Yes, out of a whole whopping 23 of them. And I don't think I am scarred.

A Story...

A few months ago, a friend and I journeyed to St. George to visit my sister. I felt bad that I was a third-wheel on their little date but I was not going to sit at the condo all by my lonesome. So I went to dinner with them. When the waitress came over to ask how we would split up the bill, she looks at them
and questions, "Are you two together?" My friend replied, "Yes." When she grudgingly turned to me, she uttered a question that, in fact, changed my life. She asked, "Are you separate?"
Ladies and Gentlemen... I am not alone, lonely, single, or unhappy.
Please, FOR THE LOVE, let's get this right!

Don't worry about me, though. I have a plethora of people that are just DYING to set me up on blind dates. Do you know how many people I have yet to meet and date? This is all because my co-worker's best friend's aunt's daughter-in-law somehow believes that "I am this person's PERFECT match"- a concept that I stil
l do not understand much about anyway. I love this quote by Wendy Liebman.
"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog."

Please feel free to mail my puppy to:
123 Lonely Lane
Unhappy Valley, UT
Maybe once I get my dog, I won't be quite so single. so separate. so lonely. Then I shall have a true companion. And then next year, on this very day, my furry little best friend and I can have a tender moment watching Marley & Me and sharing a gallon of ice cream from the same spoon!

Let us all remember that February 15th is the most important day this week, for it is the day that the Valentine's heart-shaped Reese's are marked down to half-price and we must stock up because the next Rees
esly celebrated holiday is not until April when we get our Easter eggs. Until then........DISCLAIMER: This post was NOT meant to be serious. haha. Just so you know, I do NOT even remotely dislike my friends who are in love. I love that you're in love. I'm so happy for you and I wish nothing but the best for you! For those of you who are single and wanting more, be patient. Live in the moment! You'll find that everything does work out, but for heaven's sake- have a great Valentine's Day regardless of whether or not you have a lover to share it with! Amen.

Monday, February 7, 2011

How To Survive The Worst Day Of Your Life: Part 2

Here we commence part 2 of my "get over your bad day" suggestions...


It is a clinically proven fact that ice cream fixes everything. For real. If you don't like ice cream, just stop reading. Now.

Ok- I'm kidding. I'm sure that if you're a hater, this topic will still apply to you. It's not about ice cream as much as it is comfort food. I don't know what it is about food that is so comforting... but I do know that it works!

I can't share one specific story of how ice cream has helped me because I use this tactic on a weekly basis. However, I can offer quite the testimonial that both mint chocolate chip and chocolate ice cream is pure, undiluted medicine right to the very soul.


"The friend who can be silent with us is a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief or bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares."
-Henri Nouwen

Oftentimes, we are lonely. We don't think that there is anyone who knows how we feel; no one to talk to. It is amazing to me how many people are in the world, yet there are only a handful of those people who can make you feel like you are the world. If you don't have at least one person like that, maybe it's time to find one.

On a bad day, there are only a few people I like to talk to. Usually, the first call is to my mom. She is the one person who may not understand everything I say or do, but she is the one who I know will still love me when all of it is over. I know that a lot of people aren't close enough to their parents (or kids) to bring up such subjects, but I am grateful for the blessing my mom has been in my life. She is more than just a mother; she is my best friend.

My good friends are those who are there for me, who listen to me, and who want to be around me even when I'm my worst self. For those of you who are married or dating, I hope that your "significant other" is someone who you feel comfortable enough with that you can be around them no matter what. That's one of the most important things I look for in the girls I date. Even when you don't discuss every little problem, at least there is someone that makes you feel like there is nothing more important.

"One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention."
-Clifton Fadiman


E.E. Cummings once said, "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

A couple of weeks ago, I had a terrible day! Really, it was bad. As I was talking to one of my close friends, I realized that she had had quite the awful day as well. So we got together just to cheer each other up. Although we started talking about how terrible our day had been, we ended up laughing so hard I almost tossed my cookies. I can't remember the last time I had laughed so hard! Right now, I can't even remember what about my day had been so devastating, but I do remember the ridiculous things that caused me to lose the obscurities I had been feeling.

Out of all things, I love it when someone can just let loose and laugh with me. If I could choose one thing to be remembered for- it would probably be my ridiculously embarrassing laugh.

May I offer a suggestion? (Oh sure Spencer, as if you haven't given enough already...) The best thing about the 3 ideas this week is that you can do them all together! Find someone you love who will take you out for ice cream, be with you, and make you laugh! This is the person that matters; the person who will be your buoy in a storm, and your anchor in the wind. And on your very worst day, they will see the best in you and help you remember why you're important. That's all we ever need.